The Odd One Out


I’ve always been different. I have no idea why.


Why me? Why should I bear the curse of never fitting in? Why should I always be laughed at and called a weirdo since such an early age? And why didn’t any of my attempts to find my place in the world work at the time?

I’ve tried hard, I swear.

But I got bullied. I got shunned. I got called weird, crazy, eccentric … not in a nice way. My friends in school didn’t even try to hide their laughs.

My teachers liked that I was different. I made up for my weirdness by growing academically. I guess it only earned me more ridicule, but this time combined with a little envy.

I’ve always felt I was less. Less than everyone. They were beautiful. I was not. They were smart. I was not. They were confident. I was not. They were rich. I was not. They were creative. I was not. They were funny. I was not. They could be anything they wanted. I could not.

And why do I still believe that after all those years?

I know I’m not that bad looking. I know I’m smart. I know my confidence is getting better, healing. I know I have my own money. I know I’m creative. I know I’m even funny—I’ve managed to get the punchline right a few times now.

I can be anything I want. And I know I will be.

I know I’m going to change the world. I know I am meant for greatness. I know I have so much potential it feels like I’m about to burst sometimes just so the energy inside can run free.

Then, why do I still believe I’m ugly and stupid and boring and conventional and meant for nothing but failure?

I have to repeat these words to myself every time: I am beautiful, and I am strong, and if anyone can do it, it’s me.

I am and I will always be the odd one out. It was once a curse. Now it’s my superpower. Because in a world of black and white, I get to be a red. I get to be a yellow. I get to be a blue. I get to be whatever in God’s name I want. Because I’m the odd one out.

I learned to get comfortable in my own skin. Not alone, definitely; people and circumstances have shaped me into what I am today. But I like it. I like being different. I’m weird and I’m crazy and I’m absolutely fun once you get to know me. Who cares if I don’t fit in perfectly? Perfection is overrated, anyway.

And much like Tony Stark saying, “I am Iron Man,” I will keep saying to myself and to the world … “I am the odd one out.”


July 26th, 2019


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