A Letter to My Future Boyfriend
My dear future boyfriend,
I'm writing you this now because it may help you understand what I may not be able to explain at the time.
I hope you can read cursive and that if you can't, at least you'll give it a shot instead of telling me, "Just write in print!"
And I hope you like long letters, because he told me he loved them and then let my letters rot in his drawer without reading because they are 'too long.'
I keep thinking about you all the time. I pray for you to show up, to love me and my imperfections, and to heal me. I pray to meet you, and I pray for you to make me love myself just because you do. I pray to heal so I can be what you deserve and so I don't drag you down with me in my depression and lack of hope.
I know you've been through a real lot, and I know you're lucky and brave and blessed to be where you are today, and I'm sorry for all the pain and weariness I'll put you through because of my insecurities ... but if you manage to somehow survive me ... I am yours.
I have my flaws—many, in fact—but at the end of the day, I'm a good person. I am strong. I am passionate. I am childish. I am creative. I am loving. So, if I'm yours ... I'm yours.
I'll be weak because I want to, but at the time of trouble, nothing can bring me down. When you need me, I will be your source of strength. I will be your fountain of hope. I will be yours.
If you are reading this, it means that I have decided, wholeheartedly, to let you in, step by step. You must understand that this is not easy. I'm bruised and scarred and bleeding. By showing you this, by letting you in, I'm pouring salt in the open wound.
And if you don't understand, if you underrate me or my words, please leave. No hard feelings. And it's not your fault; no one before you survived me, anyway.
But if you stay ... you're making a deal to stay for good. I will love and protect you, and I won't run away from your imperfections. This is what I'm signing up for. I expect you to do the same.
Please ... realize, no matter how much you feel you like me now, that I'm a hurricane. But if you're the one ... I will let you be Zeus.
November 13th, 2016
I'm writing you this now because it may help you understand what I may not be able to explain at the time.
I hope you can read cursive and that if you can't, at least you'll give it a shot instead of telling me, "Just write in print!"
And I hope you like long letters, because he told me he loved them and then let my letters rot in his drawer without reading because they are 'too long.'
I keep thinking about you all the time. I pray for you to show up, to love me and my imperfections, and to heal me. I pray to meet you, and I pray for you to make me love myself just because you do. I pray to heal so I can be what you deserve and so I don't drag you down with me in my depression and lack of hope.
I know you've been through a real lot, and I know you're lucky and brave and blessed to be where you are today, and I'm sorry for all the pain and weariness I'll put you through because of my insecurities ... but if you manage to somehow survive me ... I am yours.
I have my flaws—many, in fact—but at the end of the day, I'm a good person. I am strong. I am passionate. I am childish. I am creative. I am loving. So, if I'm yours ... I'm yours.
I'll be weak because I want to, but at the time of trouble, nothing can bring me down. When you need me, I will be your source of strength. I will be your fountain of hope. I will be yours.
If you are reading this, it means that I have decided, wholeheartedly, to let you in, step by step. You must understand that this is not easy. I'm bruised and scarred and bleeding. By showing you this, by letting you in, I'm pouring salt in the open wound.
And if you don't understand, if you underrate me or my words, please leave. No hard feelings. And it's not your fault; no one before you survived me, anyway.
But if you stay ... you're making a deal to stay for good. I will love and protect you, and I won't run away from your imperfections. This is what I'm signing up for. I expect you to do the same.
Please ... realize, no matter how much you feel you like me now, that I'm a hurricane. But if you're the one ... I will let you be Zeus.
November 13th, 2016
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