And in the End, Hope Survives


This is a very emotional moment for me. I feel like I’m panting after a full-day run.

I just sent my 57th query to literary agencies in the US to get my book published. The 57th actually happens to be the agent of the author who got me to write in the first place, and that’s why it’s all so meaningful and emotional.

But there’s also another reason why I’m so emotional.

The agent number 57 is the most important agent to me, and … I felt the need to write a more genuine query letter to him of all people. He represented Christopher Paolini, the man who is the reason why I’ve been working on the same book for ten years without losing hope that it will get published. Instead of the typical query letter that consists of a bio and a synopsis and the genre and word count and all that, I spoke up, in my own voice, about my book. I talked about my characters. I talked about my message through that book.

And as I sat here crying and pressing the Send button, I came to realize, again, how much my characters mean to me. Sapiens, Fabian, Primavera, Fortis, Shayne, Charlene, Markus, Tallien, Simon … Truly, they are the highlight of my life. On so many days, they gave me strength that I lacked. They urged me to take another step, and then another and another. They have taught me so much about myself and about the world. They have shown me the hidden strengths in me. They have made me realize that empathy is a good thing, if you let it.

Ten years of getting to know them. Ten years of hoping that the world would finally meet them. Ten years of inside jokes and shared pain and struggle and tears. Ten years of strengthening a bond unlike no other.

As I pressed Send today, I felt that I’ve come such a long way. And don’t get me wrong: as much as I hope that my number 57 agent is my lucky number, I know that he may well not be the one. But quite honestly, I’m okay with that. I’ve worked ten years on this story. I’d work ten more, and then another and another if I have to. This book is going to get published; it’s only a matter of time.

Today as I let my emotions out in that one unique query letter, I came to realize what the story is truly about. I wrote this in the query: “The last line in the Prophecy, the line that will click in the third part of the trilogy and make everything fall into place is ‘And in the end, hope survives.’ That is the message the book gives: hope survives.”

And now I think of that Coldplay line that goes, “Got to get that message home”.

Reading is beautiful and brilliant, and I love every moment of it, but honestly, there’s nothing in the world like writing. And there are no characters in the world like mine. I am one blessed girl to have them.


September 19th, 2019

Comments

  1. It's rare to see someone's soul through words but you do it so effortlessly it's beautiful.. I pray for your book to be explored by all types of minds from all over the world.

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    Replies
    1. Yasmin, this is just ... wow :') You're the first one to ever read it. That'll always be a fact. When it's published and out there for anyone to read, I'll always know that you were the first :3
      I really wish I would just hold it in my hands, printed. I want to smell it. I want to flip through its pages. I want to see what the font's gonna be like. I really want to see it finally come to life.

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